I'm tired/

I’m tired of getting up in the morning pretending that today is going to be a better day. I’m tired of rising up my expectations then ending being disappointed again and again.I’m tired of trying to look on the bright side when it’s obvious that there is no bright side,just darkness,sadness and pain all over again. I’m tired of trying so hard to be possitve,to be happy,to smile when I know that in the end of the day I’ll be alone again,all by myself,lying in my bed,crying,broken-hearted.I’m tired mostly from me in particular and the fact that I did that to myself,I ruined the happines in my life.I’m tired of struggaling to cope with my problems every single day,to pretend I’m doing just fine,I’m okey …cuz I’m not,I can’t be and I won’t be soon. And most of all I’m tired of not knowing how to deal with all of these.No matter how many nights I’ve spent overthinking things are still as bad as they were 3 months ago…nothing has changed,except me, now just I’m tired.